ASK ME SHIT

OKAY, FIRST OF ALL—- NO.

SECOND OF ALL—- NO.

THIRD OF ALL—- NO.

THIS IS FUCKING STUPID.

9x - 7i > 9x - 21u

-7i > -21u

i < 3u…

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO—-

HE’S A REALLY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE. WHO’S BEEN THERE WITH ME THROUGH A LOT. I CARE FOR HIM MORE THAN HE COULD EVER FUCKING UNDERSTAND WITH HIS SMALL CHILDISH BRAIN.

NEVER ONCE DID I APPRECIATE HIM AS MUCH AS HE REALLY FUCKING DESERVED. AND TO THIS VERY DAY, I HAVEN’T GOTTEN THE CHANCE TO TELL HIM THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.

I DON’T THINK I EVER WILL, GOD DAMN IT.

AND THAT’S ALL MY FUCKING FAULT.

NOT THIS AGAIN…

I HAVEN’T EVEN MET THE FUCKER IN PERSON. ALL I KNOW THAT HE IS MORE THAN LIKELY A FAT LOW LIFE THAT DOESN’T CONTRIBUTE ANYTHING TO SOCIETY. 

TEREZI, FOR THE LAST GOD DAMN TIME— WE ARE NOT GOING OUT.

I AM NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND.

I WILL NOT MARRY YOU.

AND I AM NOT GOING TO ROLEPLAY CINDER FUCKING ELLA WELL YOU ARE PRINCE CHARMING,

MY JOB ISN’T ANYTHING TOO FUCKING SPECIAL.

I HELP PEOPLE WHO ARE TOO DUMB TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO FIX THEIR OWN DAMN COMPUTERS.

PRANK. CALLS.

PEOPLE THINK IT’S SO GOD DAMN FUNNY TO PRETEND LIKE I’M SOME GOD DAMN FAST FOOD BUSINESS. THE IDIOCY ASTOUNDS ME TO THIS. 

“IS THIS THE FUCKING KRUSTY ASS KRAB?”

“NO, YOU GOD FUCKING SAD EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN, THIS IS KARKAT. I’M TECH SUPPORT.”

ANGELS AND DEMONS.

CORSPE BRIDE.

SWEENEY TODD.

AND SOME OTHER ROMANCE MOVIES—- NOT THAT THEY ARE SOME OF MY FAVORITES OR ANYTHING.

……OF COURSE I WOULD FUCKING CHANGE SHIT.

I WOULD KICK MY DAD’S FUCKING ASS UNTIL HE STOPPED FUCKING YELLING AT ME.

I WOULD BECOME A MORE LIKABLE PERSON.

AND I WOULD OF FUCKING TOLD HIM HOW I FELT, BEFORE IT WAS TOO FUCKING LATE.

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME DO THAT, FUCKASS?

IT’S NOT LIKE I RANDOMLY TURN INTO A GOD DAMN FEMALE WHENEVER THE FUCK I GOD DAMN PLEASE—-